I just never thought I'd be writing about what the Bible has to say about people eating their children and other people. How on earth did I come to this subject? I am working on a series of verses and posts on Passion to Know More social media about Jesus is compassion. The word "compassion" is a key word in the Bible because God is described over and over as being compassionate. I went to Bible Gateway and typed in "compassionate" and then read through the many verses with "compassionate" in them. And low and behold Lamentations 4:10 pops up. With their own hands compassionate women have cooked their own children, who became their food when my people were destroyed. That's not a verse which you'd put on a coffee mug. I don't remember when I learned it was mentioned in the Bible about people eating their young. But I do know it fascinated me and grossed me out. Whenever I mention to anyone about people becoming so desperate that they ate their children (which honestly does not come up that often for obvious reasons,) they always react shocked that cannibalism is in there. Cannibalism is mentioned in the Bible as a covenant curse for rejecting God and doing evil. Cannibalism is mentioned in regards to the sieges. We need to back up to the key word "covenant." God made a series of covenants with His people. Covenant is more than just a promise or a contract. It is a sacred holy promise that God and His people enter in together. He will be their God and they will love Him with all their heart and soul and might. Jesus has told us His blood is the new covenant. The covenant comes with blessings for God's people who fear Him. And it comes with curses for those who reject Him. Leviticus 26:29: Further, you will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters you will eat. Chapter 26 is about the blessings of obedience and the penalties of disobedience. It is important to remember the people knew this before they agreed to enter the covenant. God very clearly told them this is what will happen if you break His covenant. (Leviticus 26:14.) Not only does God spell out for them what will happen if they break the covenant, but He also tells them if you break the covenant, there is a way to restore the covenant. God gives them an out if they confess their iniquity in their unfaithfulness which they committed against Him, become humbled so they then make amends for their iniquity; then He will remember His covenant with them. See Leviticus 26:40-46. These are the statutes and ordinances and laws which the LORD established between Himself and the sons of Israel through Moses at Mount Sinai. Leviticus 26:46 God sets the rules. This is what will happen if you enter the covenant and are obedient. You will be blessed. And this is what will happen if you break the covenant. You will be cursed. But even if you break the covenant, and return to God and repent; you can be restored in the covenant with God. He will take you back. And the people agreed to the covenant. See Exodus 24:7 God's people knew full well what the LORD their God required of them. They were to fear the LORD their God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the LORD their God with all their heart and with all their soul, and to keep the LORD's commandments and His statutes. (See Deuteronomy 10:12-22) Moses proceeds to go over the rewards of obedience and all the statutes again, and then you get to Deuteronomy chapter 28 and the consequences of disobedience are again repeated. And this is where the second time cannibalism is mentioned. Deuteronomy 28:53: Then you shall eat the offspring of your own body, the flesh of your sons and of your daughters... Verse 55 so that he will not give even one of them any of the flesh of his children which he will eat, since he has nothing else left, during the siege and the distress... Verse 57 ... she will eat them secretly for lack of anything else, during the siege and the distress ... Deuteronomy chapter 30 tells us (again) God always provides a way for restoration of the covenant. He sets before them life and prosperity, and death and adversity and tells them to "choose life." Deuteronomy 30:19. The people agreed to the covenant between them and their God. Do the people break the covenant? They do. Do the covenant curses come true? They do. 2 Kings 6:28-29 And the king said to her, "What is the matter with you?" And she answered, "This woman said to me, 'Give your son that we may eat him today, and we will eat my son tomorrow.' So we boiled my son and ate him; and I said to her on the next day, 'Give your son, that we may eat him'; but she has hidden her son." The siege of Samaria, the capital of the northern kingdom, was so severe that the people resorted to cannibalism. These verses in 2 Kings have to do with an earlier siege of Samaria under the Arameans. This is a depth of sin that was predicted earlier and is shocking. Then we get to Jeremiah 19:9. "I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they will eat one another's flesh in the siege and in the distress with which their enemies and those who seek their life will distress them." Jeremiah predicted that the citizens of Jerusalem would do this during the Babylonian siege of Jerusalem. Then we get to Lamentations 2:20. ... Should women eat their offspring, the little ones who were born healthy?... And Lamentations 4:10. The hands of compassionate women boiled their own children; they became food for them... Jeremiah lived to see this happen. People fought over whose child should be eaten next. Compassionate women who under normal circumstances would not imagine doing such a thing. And Ezekiel 5:10. 'Therefore, fathers will eat their sons among you, and sons will eat their fathers; for I will execute judgments on you and scatter all your remnant to every wind.' This is during the Babylonian siege of Jerusalem in 588-586 B.C. Remember cannibalism was prohibited in the law of Moses and was denounced by prophets. This is the whole point though. This isn't what God wanted for His people. They broke their covenant with God and resorted to unimaginable evil. And finally we get to A.D. 70 and the Roman siege of Jerusalem which was recorded by Josephus in Wars of the Jews, 6.3.4. "A woman... who... had fled to Jerusalem... killed her son, roasted him, and ate one half, concealing and saving the rest." When you read about the sieges of Samaria and Jerusalem in the Bible you don't get a sense of how bad they were. The Bible just tells you this happened and this happened - kind of matter-of-factly. But the sieges were horrific. And we know this mainly because of archeological finds. The Assyrians talk about skinning people while they were alive and beheading others and putting their heads on poles and lining the roads. The Babylonians were also brutal. The people would flee to the walled cities for protection. The whole point of a siege was to starve the people for years (yes years) to where they became so weak they were easily conquered. Sieges were a common practice of warfare. The people became so starved they resorted to eating grass and cannibalism. Most died. Then the invading armies would slaughter the few still alive or take them as slaves. What are we to make of all of this? I have four take-aways from thinking about the covenant curse of cannibalism. First of all I think a take-away is that God is not ambiguous. We don't have to wonder what He thinks and what He expects of us. He has told us. Did God make them eat their young? No! Never! He simply told them if you break our covenant, there will be curses and you will sink to the lowest of the low. They chose their course. Yes God is compassionate and slow to anger. You can go to Bible Gateway; type in "compassionate" or "slow to anger" and read those verses. We like to focus on these characteristics of God. But God is holy and almighty also and those aren't trivial words to be ignored. Feel their majesty. When His people reject Him and do evil in His sight, look out. My second take away is to read the Bible with balance - keep in my heart both an intimate relationship with God as loving me and at the same time for me to have a profound reverence for Him. I serve a loving holy God. Another take-away for me is that as a professed Christian I have entered the new covenant. When we take the Lord's Supper/ communion/ the Eucharist we hear about the bread is His body and then we hear about the cup. Jesus says "This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My blood." (Luke 22:20.) When we drink of that it is in remembrance we have entered that covenant. We are agreeing to the terms. That is a very sacred moment. We are professing Jesus is our Savior and our Lord. There is a seriousness with that which needs to be recognized and acted upon. With keeping the covenant comes blessings. We are left to our own accord if we reject God. But hope is never lost because there is always a chance to be restored. Always. Why? Because our God is compassionate and is the God of second chances. Our last take-away should be that the Bible is not boring. Smile. Oh no wait. I have one more lesson we should remember. Keep the covenant. Choose life! In writing this article I used my Bibles as sources. New American Standard reference Bible 1995 (NASB) Christian Standard study Bible (CSB) New International Version study Bible (NIV) English Standard Version study Bible (ESV)

I recently had a person ask me where I have worked. My work history is kind of an embarrassment for me. It sometimes feels I haven't done anything significant with my life. I joke I've been a kept woman all these years. So I guess in my relaying my spotty work history I try to justify my life. I was a civil engineer for ten years. Then I became a stay-at-home mom for years. Those years were filled with countless volunteer hours at the schools, in my neighborhood association, as a girl scout leader, and at church. Then I had a series of part time jobs: Best Buy, got my real estate license and worked for others part time off and on for years, and at a Christian bookstore. In between part time jobs I kept very busy. Working on my family history, being the care giver for my aunt for eight years, taking classes and developing curriculums for Bible classes and teaching them. Plus I had a women's Bible study group in my home for many years. I kind of gave the person the overview - engineer, volunteer, part time jobs, teaching Bible classes. When I said "Bible" classes, the person's entire demeanor changed. It was suddenly as if they put up a wall, a defense. The look in their eyes was shock and fear! This person snarked, "Bible classes?" To which I replied I teach an overview and the historical eras of the Bible, how we know our text is reliable, the manuscript evidence, how it is organized, geography - you know things a lot of Christians don't know about. This person abruptly told me they didn't believe in any of that and they were an atheist. The discussion ended. They made it very clear we were done talking. And I can't stop thinking of their reaction. What did this person think I was going to do or say? Did they think I was going to attack them? Is this the reputation Christians have in the secular world? It was as if this person immediately changed their opinion of me - and not in a good way. It was very awkward. We joined the rest of the people talking and this guy was very nice to me afterwards. But he had made it abundantly clear that Christianity is a taboo subject with him. I wondered what his life experience had been? I just can't stop thinking about his weird reaction as soon as I uttered the word "Bible." Closed-minded: I think non-believers think Christians are close-minded and judgmental. But how close-minded and judgmental is that to assume they know what I believe and what I think? Christians aren't supposed to be judgmental. If you encounter that you are encountering a Christian who God is working on. You might be surprised to know what I think about some of the hot button subjects. Often the perceptions of Christians are very tainted by what media portrays - you know the crazies on the fringes. And no matter what my personal beliefs are on a subject I try to do as Jesus commands and love my neighbor. We're to be kind and compassionate. I'll admit we fail at times, but we are redeemed sinners. Knowing what I believe: I know exactly what I believe when it comes to my faith. This is because I have spent decades reading Scripture and getting all my questions answered. Do I expect you to believe what I do? I don't. See we are all on a different journey. As soon as you believe in the redeeming work of Jesus - believe you are a sinner in need of a Savior, believe in the atoning death and resurrection of Christ - you are saved. This is called justification. Then God starts working on you to become more like Christ. This is called sanctification. We all aren't on board with everything from the moment we are saved. It takes some time to change our world view. And when our world view needs some changing, you can rest assured that God is on it! And on some things we Christians are going to see them very differently. The perfect example of this is I was a believer who was pro choice. But over the years God did a number on me and I now am pro life. But I'm not the kind of pro-lifer you may think of. I believe we are going about it the wrong way in putting all of our eggs in one basket which isn't going to really change things. Even if Roe vs. Wade is repealed, we won't stop abortions. We need to give women the support to choose life. We need to change their hearts. We need to help them. And I care about other life too - the immigrant, the refugee, the person of a different faith, the poor, etc. I care about health care and infrastructure and curbing spending and immigration and foreign relation policies. So when it comes to my political vote, pro-life isn't the only issue I vote on. Some Christians think that is just wrong of me. I believe women can be preachers in a church. I have studied the arguments on both sides. I know many Christians don't believe women should be preachers and they have the right to believe that. Just because we differ in this belief doesn't make me any less a Christian than they are. Don't assume you know what I think and believe on certain subjects. Evangelizing: I was recently on the Santa Monica Pier and there was a guy with a microphone screaming about Jesus. Another guy was handing out tracts. Most people walked on by and refused the tracts. The guy wasn't saying anything that isn't true but I wondered if that is really the best way to go about telling others about Jesus. I watched the people including the ones I was with and it seemed to make everyone uncomfortable. Actually I was kind of uncomfortable too. I had an interaction with a woman who was not a believer on a Bible forum. I was pointing out the statement she made was wrong. She immediately assumed I was trying to convert her. When I said I wasn't trying to convert her she replied, "It's your Christian duty is it not to convert the unbelievers?" I don't think it is my job to jam my beliefs down someone's throat. She obviously wasn't open to anything I had to say. I wrote a blog about it if you are interested. ["Is it My Christian Duty to Convert You?", dated October 31, 2019] Basically I believe it is God who does the heavy lifting. He may use me in some way to reach someone, or as Christians call it 'plant seeds.' I think the person on the other end has to be open to hearing for any effective evangelism to occur. but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 1 Peter 3:15 Notice the "who asks you" in the above verse. I am prepared to give a defense for what I believe, but I'm going to wait until you ask or show some interest. That is my way of witnessing. I will readily admit I often fail at the "with gentleness and reverence" part, however, I am improving. I am perfectly aware I live in a secular world. I do gauge who I am with and try to be respectful of their beliefs. That person who told me they are an atheist and dismissed me because I am a Christian - you have nothing to fear from me. I'm not going to bombard you with my beliefs. They are mine. Your beliefs are yours. But I am going to keep you in my prayers that God will bring people and experiences to you that draw you to Him. Smile. Anyways, if non-believers think Christians are threatening and undesirable to be around; we are going about this thing the entirely wrong way. We obviously have a PR problem. Living life with God is a wonderful thing! It should be attractive to others. They should see our joy, our peace, and our hope. We should be a flavoring influence on society, not terrifying to others.

My daughter lives in LA now and I live on the east coast. We went out to visit her recently. As I flew on the plane I thought, ’Boy is this a long flight between the east and the west.’ … which led me to think about Psalm 103:12 and my sins being forgiven. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. And underneath that uncomfortable mask on the plane I smiled. It was a connection between God and I. He knows I get it. I smiled because suddenly the forgiveness verses came rushing back to me. Long ago I had made a list of Scripture verses which tell me God forgives me and I call them my “forgiveness verses.” I smiled because a phrase like “the east is from the west” sends my thought process towards Scripture. It has become a part of me. It is how my mind works now – to be directed to Him. And I smiled because the lesson I learned way back then has stuck with me to this day. It is glued into my mind. Into my heart. Into my soul. I became a believer in middle school. I was however what I call an Occasional Christian. Christianity didn’t really play into my daily life. The truth was I was very ignorant of the faith I professed. I had little training and wasn’t sure I really believed everything that Christianity claimed. Actually I hadn’t thought a lot about my beliefs. My faith wasn’t part of my daily every day life. I guess I thought about if I will end up in heaven, but it wasn’t about what will happen to me this day, this hour, or this minute. See I wanted Jesus as a Savior, but didn't really care about Him being my Lord. And then in 2001 a series of events sent me into a deep depression. When I was in that very real, very terrifying, deep dark pit of despair; I reached out to the only One who had any control of saving me. I don’t mean eternal salvation wise; I mean tangibly in the moment. I promised God if He intervened in my life at that moment, I was His from then on. I’ve kept that promise. I now do daily life with God and it is is so much better than I ever could have imagined. I didn’t become super knowledgeable about my faith at the moment I made God that promise in 2001. It has been a journey. I had certain concepts I needed to learn and embrace. Being forgiven was one of them. A Christian professes we are forgiven. That is the whole reason Jesus had to die on the cross - to be the substitutionary atonement for our sins. I said I believed this, but yet I still doubted that I was truly forgiven. Oh sure, those sins of unkindness, of pride, of being stingy with my money, of gossiping,… sure, I could believe God has forgiven those ‘little’ sins. But the big ones, the ones which were really ugly, the sins that I kept a secret from everyone; I just couldn’t believe He would forgive those! And so I lived in this limbo claiming to be forgiven, but not really believing I actually was completely forgiven. Then I heard a sermon. This has probably been eighteen years ago and I don’t remember exactly what was said, but it was something to the effect that doubting you are forgiven is a sin. It’s a sin because it is unbelief. The whole purpose of the cross is we go from unforgiven to forgiven; from unrighteous to righteous. Either Jesus' death on the cross and His resurrection paid for our sins or it didn't. Either you believe it or you don’t. And yet we somehow hang in that space of partially believing it and partially thinking it is too easy and too good to be true. That void space. We often aren’t even aware we are in that place. Perhaps I am jumbling several sermons together but I seem to remember the pastor talked about substitutionary atonement/ about forgiveness and the promise of Scripture/ and we should stop making God into a small god. If God says He is going to forgive us by our belief, than believe it. I seem to remember this was the service we were each given a small wooden cross to remind us of what Jesus did for us. I kept that cross in my purse for years. And we got a yellow post-it and pen and wrote our sin(s) on it and we went up to a large wood cross and stuck our sin(s) on the cross. A symbol of the sacrifice Jesus made for us and our sins being nailed to the cross. We are redeemed. It was a powerful moment for me. It wasn’t that single moment when I crossed from the doubtful limbo area to belief that I am forgiven. I pondered the concept for quite a long time. I studied Scripture. I listed my “forgiveness verses.” I read commentaries and study Bible footnotes on those verses. I committed them to memory. And at some point I took hold of the belief. These verses are my go-to when my mind starts doubting. When I feel like I’m disappointing God. When I think He must surely be angry with me because I just can’t get it right. I remind myself that the God of creation loves me so much that He has provided a way for me to be forgiven. I believe His Word. I remind myself He is faithful and true and full of lovingkindness. Believing I am forgiven has changed my life. Rocked my world. It gives me profound peace. Fills me with joy. Humbles me to thankful gratitude. Makes me smile. Talk about changing your worldview! Yes, I believe it to my core now. My sins are cast as far as the east is from the west. He remembers them no more. I am as white as snow. I have become like wool. My sins are cast into the depths of the sea. He has cast them behind His back. He has blotted them out. Tread them under His foot. I am declared righteous. All because of my Savior. Thank you Jesus. Here’s my list of “forgiveness verses.” Psalm 103:10-14 (as far as the east is from the west) Isaiah 38:17 (cast all my sins behind His back) Micah 7:19 (tread our iniquities under foot and into the depths of the sea) Romans 8:1 (no condemnation for those in Christ) 1 John 1:9 (cleanse us from all unrighteousness) Isaiah 43:25; Hebrews 8:12; Hebrews 10:17 (remembers our sins no more) Ephesians 1:7 (forgiveness of sins through His blood) Isaiah 1:18 (white as snow, become like wool) Isaiah 55:7 (abundantly pardon) Acts 3:19 (blotted out) Matthew 26:28 (His blood poured out for the forgiveness of sins) Romans 10:4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.

With each passing year I settle deeper into my faith. I've walked with Jesus long enough to know the sun shines again and the good comes. I'm learning to trust Him with all my circumstances and to have a perspective on life that the trials I encounter are just blips on all of eternity. That some things which seem insignificant, even the smallest kindness, do matter in the scheme of eternity. I've learned love trumps all. And I have a clear view of what is important in this life. I was pondering my spiritual journey over the years and I realized God has moved my yardstick in many areas. I call God's standard for my life; my yardstick. Now understand that it is my yardstick and not your yardstick. I don't hold you to my yardstick. My yardstick is between God and me. Yours is between God and you. Comfort level with spiritual things: My whole life up until I was 42 years old I went to a traditional church where they sang hymns and had a Scripture reading and a sermon. You had to dress up in your Sunday finest to go to church. I was invited to a non-denomination church in an auditorium setting with a stage, no sign of a cross anywhere, and it had a band with guitars, keyboard and drums. I was immediately struck by the way people dressed in casual clothes like shorts and jeans! Then the band started with their contemporary music and it was loud! Some people swayed with their arms extended in the air. It seemed to somehow be irreverent to me. I felt very uncomfortable, but the "message" (what they called the sermon) was so good and I eventually became a member of this church. I still dressed up for church even though others didn't, but my standards loosened up some over time. I enjoyed the music and even sometimes raised my arms in praise. God moved my yardstick. I worked at a Christian bookstore for a year and they asked us when we were opening to pray over the aisles and to anoint the front door of the store. I didn't have any problem with praying over the store, but I did with the anointing part. It felt weird to me. Who was I thinking I was qualified to anoint the door? I laugh because I wouldn't have a problem doing it now. My yardstick has been moved. I shall set no worthless thing before my eyes: I took Psalm 101:3 to heart. My yardstick began moving on this one around 2004. I was reading several Christian books and I would talk about them with the staff at the church suggesting they put them in the church bookstore where I served. I found out one of the books I had read was by a charismatic author who had questionable ethics. A couple more books were not approved for the church bookstore because some of the ideas put forth in them weren't good biblical teaching. The church bookstore had a standard they held to and these books didn't meet their standard. I began to look into more what I was reading. When Fifty Shades of Grey was published in 2011, I figured it didn't honor God for me to read it. So I didn't and I haven't seen the movie. I'm sure if it had come out ten years prior to that I would have. You may have read it, but remember my yardstick isn't your yardstick. The bookstore I worked at carried some questionable "Christian" books. Some of them had some bad theology in them and some were flat out rejected by the Christian community at large. Some made me very uncomfortable - some of the charismatic books and some of the End Times books. The problem to me was the bookstore had "Christian" in the name and because of that people assumed that all the books held to a certain standard like a church would do. I quickly found out that Christians come in all shapes and sizes of beliefs. Some of these questionable books were hot sellers. The owner wanted to make money, so he carried them. I learned which authors and genre to steer clear of. I could list these authors and I have been tempted at times to do that, but I have to remind myself that we have a different set of standards. Here's what I do suggest though. Before reading a "Christian" book check out the reviews. Research the author you are reading or the speaker you are listening to. If there is a problem with the book or podcast or whatever, you will find out really quickly. Stay away from questionable ones you hear about. There are so many good Christian resources out there and I would spend your time on those. Commit to feeding your mind with worthwhile ideas. I like to read Christian classics. The spiritual realm: I'm not exactly sure when I began really believing in spiritual warfare. Prior to that I know I believed in angels and demons and Satan, but I didn't really think they had much impact on my life. After studying about spiritual warfare several times over the years, I know I believe in it now. I came into possession of a bracelet that had an eye on it. I found out the eye was to ward off evil spirits, specifically the evil eye. I wrote a blog on this. In I'm Not Wearing Evil Eye Jewelry I talk about how I stick with only Fall themed Halloween decorations now. I got rid of all my ghosts and witches. The demonic world is very deceitful and while God protects us, having those things around seems irreverent to me. I don't toy with the demonic world. I know you might think that is ridiculous, but I don't care. It's my yardstick though. Not yours. I don't care if you have ghosts hanging from your front porch at Halloween or if you choose to wear evil eye jewelry. That's your deal. If God wants you to change that, He will convict you of it. Right from wrong: I recently ordered some items from a European based company. They said they would give me 15% off as a first time customer. So I ordered more than I normally would, but when I went to check out it didn't take the 15% off. I contacted them and they applied the discount to my bill. When I got the items I realized they had taken the 15% off each item and then another 15% off the total. It was my fault. I contacted them to tell them of the error. Years ago I wouldn't have done that. God moved my yardstick. Compassion for others: It has taken years but I am way less judgmental than I used to be. I am more giving and understanding towards others. If you know me personally you might think God still has a lot of work to do on me and you'd be correct. But when you look at the self-absorbed person I used to be compared to now, you'd be like "Wow!" I could give you so many more examples of God changing my thinking and my heart, but you get the point. The longer I've walked with Christ, things that made me uncomfortable no longer do and things that I was comfortable with now make me very uncomfortable. This process of changing is called sanctification (click on word to read about Christian sanctification.) It is defined as becoming more like Christ. And here's the thing, the Holy Spirit is in charge of the process and also He is in charge of the timetable. It is the small changes which lead to the big ones. And it takes time. People don't instantaneously change all of their thinking and behavior at the moment they believe in Jesus as their Lord and Savior. God has to move their yardstick by which they measure their standard of living. We keep trying to apply our yardstick to other people's actions. We draw a mark on the yardstick and say if you are above that on an issue or below it on another issue that you are wrong. Shoot, we are all wrong to some degree. None of us are where we are supposed to be on that yardstick of God's standards. Realize that God is working on that person's life just like He has worked and continues to work on yours. Give others some grace. Trust God to move their yardstick. Let God do the heavy lifting. Let Him do His thing in their lives. You just be a shining light. Love others and pray for them. Be gentle with them. Be a little ray of encouragement for people trying to grow in the grace and knowledge of their Lord.

Sherry and I have been friends for a decade since we met working together at a Christian bookstore. Somehow a couple months ago we got talking about the immigrants trying to get into our country through the southern border. Sherry is Christian and she not only knows her Bible but also walks the walk. She was a missionary for ten years in a Latin American country. I asked her some questions about what was the situation in the countries down there. She answered and our conversation turned to the many unkind things we have heard Christians say about immigrants. You know the "they are drug dealers" and "they want a handout" type of comments. Where is the compassion Christians should be noted for? She shared her journal entries from three years ago with me and I asked her if I could share them on here. She agreed but took out the names to protect people. Because of our conversation I spent four hours one Sunday trying to educate myself on what was going on. Specifically I was trying to understand as a mother and a Christian how in the world could these parents let their young children and teenagers be separated from them and enter a foreign country without them. You have to be pretty desperate to do that and I wanted to understand the "why" of it. Here is an article on what the problems are in the region. It gives you an overview, but not the personal stories. "The imperative to address the root causes of migration from Central America" The reasons why parents would be so desperate to send their children across a foreign border unaccompanied are violence and extortion, food insecurity, and poverty. That is a generic answer and I dug a little deeper to try to understand the "why" of it. Just google "personal stories of why immigrants fled Latin America." This particular article pierced my heart. When faced with the same situation, I would do whatever it took to get my children to safety. Four gang members forced Sofia into a car, drove her to the countryside, beat her and raped her repeatedly. “This is what will happen to your daughter,” they shouted at her over and over again, “if you don’t pay us what your husband owes.” Migrants' stories: Why they flee And now to Sherry's journal from 2018. My People Are Suffering By Sherry Vechery June 19, 2018 A friend contacted me this evening. She shared news from our other country, news in Spanish, both the text, and the audio. The friend who sent it is from that other country and now lives in the States with her husband. Her mom, who was among my closest friends when I lived in the country, still lives in the same place where I lived for a long time. The pink bag in the photo contains the body of a little boy who was murdered by gang members. He lived near my friend in her country, and his body was discovered beside the road this morning because a toe was sticking out of the bag. My friend's young nephew, who lives in the same area, was also threatened by gang members, and they are trying to get him to sell for them. They will kill more people. The police are part of it, or if they try to help, they are killed. There is no help. This is why people leave. Leave or die. What kind of choice is that? If they have money, they flee in ways that are legal, at least for a while. Then visas run out, and they don't go back. Do you know why they don't go back? They don't go back because facing whatever they have to face here is better than having your child's body found on the side of the road with his toe sticking out. Oh, and as for the people who cannot afford a visa and a plane ticket....They get out any way they can. AND I FOR ONE SUPPORT THEM! This is no joke! It is real! It is terrible. People I know have been murdered for not paying for protection. People I know have been kidnapped. People I know have lost parents, cousins, siblings, children. I am in agony. I cannot stop crying. I have been crying for days. Here are my Sunday School notes from 6/17/2018: She said, "Send them back." She said, "They deserve to be separated." She said, "They don't need to come here." She prayed, "Thank you, Jesus, for all the love in this room." I ask, "What love?" The book says, "We're broken, and we need help." The Big Book says, "Be careful to do as the Lord your God has commanded you." So why do I keep coming here? The Big Book says, "But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed." These people do not even know that they, sitting here, are locked up. They are held in the custody of confusion and ignorance. They are their own jailers, holding their own hearts captive to a lie. I am in agony. A friend’s father murdered for not paying for protection. She found his blood-soaked body. The grandfather of several of my friends – kidnapped. Missing. Found by a man out with his dog, his body shredded by buzzards. A friend’s husband kidnapped. Missing. Ransom was demanded. He escaped. A friend’s mom, an honest lawyer. Criminals went to jail. She received many death threats, and unsuccessful attempts were made to kill her. They finally did it. There was collateral damage. A friend’s dad worked in drug enforcement. I forget for which government. He had a body guard, and his daughter figured out that his life was in danger. He was a target. Each day when this dad dropped his daughter off for school, they cried together. One day after dropping his daughter at school, he looked at his body guard and said, “Go home. You have family.” He was killed that day. This is only a portion of the suffering. June 23, 2018 It was late when I arrived home last night, nearly 9:00. I didn't see that there was email, and I was struggling with a migraine (as I still am). There was a meeting of a Latino/Hispanic organization that I attended from 6 - 8 p.m. It was excellent. My skin is pale, but my heart is brown. We talked. It was positive and uplifting. When I was a child, we were "the hunkies in the muck land." Hunky is the Hungarian equivalent of the N-word. My Dad taught us to be proud of being hunkies. We were forbidden from using similar words for people from any other country or ethnicity, but we embraced hunky. That's how Dad prevented our souls from being stabbed, and taught us respect for everyone, no matter their background. My Grampa was born on the way from Hungary. There was no birth certificate. He was baptized in a Catholic church in the United States. There is Jewish history in my family, but they hid that from us. And by the time it reached my grandparents, they truly were Catholic. There are unproven rumors that my family originally migrated from Russia to escape pogroms there. (My soul is exhausted.) Here I am, along with my sisters, in spite of it all. They made it work. All of them made it work. I have shared what I wrote on Tuesday with others, but I took out place names to make it slightly less identifiable. And I have been talking with friends in three countries and all over the States. We need each other. We cry together. I also shared what I wrote on Tuesday with my supervisor at work the next day. I'm raw, and I needed her to know that in case I fell apart. I didn't fall apart. Not on the outside, anyway. Internally I am in shreds. My supervisor understands. She has a heart for those of many backgrounds. Her daughter is a Latina. Some of my coworkers are Latinas, and I am an honorary Latina. When I lived in my other country, they gave me a nickname that bestowed honorary inclusion upon me. In many ways I am more comfortable in the Latin cultures (yes, more than one culture) than I am in my own culture. It is embarrassing to be an evangelical. Maybe we all need to lose some sleep. Maybe then we will wake up. I hate politics, but what is being accepted is an atrocity. I still love people, I just can no longer be still. But speaking up won't work. I am so tired. Have I told you about Christian people mocking me because I work with Spanish speaking people? Yes. Too much. In my own church. They don't know that most of the people I work with are believers. I don't ask about legal status. I never will. But I know that those who don't have legal status do not receive all the aid that people claim they do. And I know that it is pointless to try to convince those who believe it that it's not true. Some of my people were born here. They speak better English than those who tell them to go back to where they came from. My family was told to go back to where they came from. God has set a high standard for how we should treat foreigners. He tells us, "Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:39) If your heart is moved to donate or volunteer to help the situation, here is a local Cabarrus County organization Sherry highly recommended and a local Charlotte ministry that helps a specific community and which I have been involved with in the past. Be a part of helping others. El Puente Hispano (The Hispanic Bridge) Caterpillar Ministries #loveyourneighbor #immigrants #immigration

Impatience is probably my most frequent sin. It leads to anger and unkindness towards others. I was reminded of this the other day when there was a gas shortage. I was at home and I jumped on Facebook and on our neighborhood page they were asking if anyone knew where there was gas. What? The gas stations are out of gas? It was because of the Colonial Pipeline being hacked. I'm the girl that gets stressed if my gas tank gets below a quarter of a tank. But the last three times I drove my car I was in a hurry to run an errand, I had other people in the car and didn't want to stop for gas, and I had taken the dog to the vet and they took longer than I had hoped and I needed to get the dog home so I could go somewhere else. I knew I was low on gas. My husband was about to go out of town and I didn't want to be stuck here without gas. I jumped in the car, noted I was 58 miles to empty and headed out. As I drove I prayed "God, please help me find gas." I take to heart Philippians 4:6: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. After going to four gas stations and they were out of gas, I was thrilled to see the fifth one had gas! I got in line. Someone was trying to cut in line and I honked. Nothing infuriates me more than line cutters! Wait your turn like everyone else. The car in front of me finally gets up to the pump and the woman gets out and heads in the gas station! Why wasn't she paying with her credit card? I knew she would have to wait in line inside. I loudly made a comment (my window was down) and threw my hands up in the air in disgust. I get up to the pump and the gas very slowly came out. I filled up to 420 miles to empty. And I felt quite pleased with myself for having found gas. On the news I hear 71% of the Charlotte gas stations are out of gas. They interview a lawn man who can't find gas and can't do his job without it. They interview people who need gas to get to work. I feel guilty for filling up the tank. I should have only got half a tank which would have tided me over until we got more gas in this area. I feel guilty about throwing my arms up when that woman in front of me walked into the gas station. Convicted of selfishness. Apparently I think my time is more important than others. Scripture has a lot to say about this kind of behavior. Mark 12:31: ... ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. ..." Leviticus 19:18: ... "you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD" 1 Corinthians 13:4,5: Love is patient,... does not act unbecomingly;... Romans 12:10: ... Honor one another above yourselves. Philippians 2:3-4 Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. Love matters. I'm sitting here thinking of all the times I wait in line and huff and puff and roll my eyes and make snide comments. After years of War-Mart driving me nuts, I've learned to pray before I enter. 'Lord, please give me patience as I shop there.' It helps me to get in the right frame of mind before I go in and interact with others. Patience is a godly attribute. Years ago I didn't think a thing about my unkind behavior. Now I walk out of the grocery store after being rude to someone and I am convicted and immediately ask the Lord to forgive me. I think He is making some progress with me. Am I more patient than I was ten years ago? I am. I'm slowly being transformed. Patience matters. The other thing is people who don't follow the rules drive me nuts. I have no patience for them. I remember decades ago someone and I had tickets to a comedy show. We were at the end of the line to go in and when the doors opened, the person I was with walked up front to cut in line to get a good seat. I didn't move. They finally came back to me and words flew. I was told I was such a "rule follower." I am. I always have been. I remember the incident very well because the other person and I fought over it and our night was ruined. Kindness matters. A couple years ago my women's group was studying the Promised Land and how God put His people right there on the Via Maris trade route so that they could witness to the world. As part of the study I gave each woman a pair of heart shaped sunglasses. We called them our "love glasses." Each week we put them on and brainstormed how we can be witnesses for Christ in our daily life. One week it was when we are driving - following the traffic laws, being patient,... The next week it was social media - being truthful and kind, pray before you respond when necessary,... Etc. We talked about that person cutting you off in traffic might have just found out their spouse has cancer or that their mother died or that they lost their job. I have a dear friend that whenever someone says something negative about someone, she always says something like, "She might be having a hard time right now." She constantly reminds people to give others grace; to have compassion on them. She's right you know. We don't know another person's story. We don't know what is going on with them. We need to assume they need our kindness. We are witnesses of Christ in all we do. God put that person in front of you for a reason. Somehow your interaction with them matters. Our lives are intertwined with everyone we come in contact. An impatient selfish person is not a good witness of the joy and hope we possess. I've really taken that lesson to heart and when I am a poor witness I feel heartbroken. We either witness His love to others or we don't. The Holy Spirit resides in each believer. And when we yield to the Spirit and walk with Him, we should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22,23 See the "patience" there? See the "kindness" there? See the "love" there? We all have a sphere of influence. It's not a coincidence you are right where you are at any given moment. Something as minor as waiting in line patiently can be used to show the world the Lord's love. What will we do with each moment we are given? "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

Our Old Testament is the Jewish Scriptures. They were originally written in Hebrew. (There is a little Aramaic in the books of Daniel and Ezra - Daniel 2:4-7:28 and two passages in Ezra to be specific.) In the Hebrew Scriptures there are many names for God. But the divine personal name for God is ‘YHWH.’ Ancient Hebrew language was written only in consonants. YHWH is called the tetragrammaton (which is Greek for “four letters.”) Since we can't read Hebrew (or Aramaic) the Hebrew Scriptures must be translated to English. The translation teams must make a choice on the best way to translate the divine name of God. An old school Bible like the 1611 King James Version will in some instances translate YHWH to “Jehovah” and this comes from the Latin rendering of YHWH. Scholars say this is a misunderstanding of the Hebrew spelling, due not only to the absence of vowels, but also to the mistaken insertion of “o” between the “h” and the “v.” Scholars say this is not a good translation of YHWH because it is translating it from Hebrew to Latin to English. Jewish people realized YHWH is sacred and feared using it improperly. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain. (Exodus 20:7 NASB) They began verbally substituting “Adonai,” which means “my Lord,” when referring to YHWH. This practice continued throughout New Testament times. In keeping with this Jewish tradition many translation teams chose to translate YHWH to "LORD" in our English texts. Note they used capital letters to signify this name is sacred. LORD is the most common translation of YHWH. Biblical scholarship in the study of the ancient Hebrew language has significantly grown in the past century. Many modern scholars believe the most probable choices based on research for inserting vowels would be adding an ‘a’ and an ‘e’ making YHWH best translated to English as “Yahweh.” The 'a' and the 'e' comes from "Adonai" and "Elohim," two names of God. You will see Yahweh in a few modern versions of the Bible. In our English translations of the Hebrew Scriptures, our Old Testament, you will see YHWH translated as either “Jehovah” or “LORD” or “Yahweh.” YHWH is found about 6,800 times in the Hebrew Scriptures. The Hebrew Bible translates YHWH to "Yahweh." I use five Bibles. - NASB, NIV, and ESV all translate YHWH to "LORD." - The Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) translates YHWH to “Yahweh” in 656 instances in 611 verses. The introduction says the HCSB Old Testament uses Yahweh when the biblical text emphasizes Yahweh as a name, "His name is Yahweh" (Psalm 68:4), and when it is used as a self-identification as in "I am Yahweh" (Isaiah 42:8.) Most of the time though the HCSB translates YHWH to “LORD.” Yahweh is used more often in the HCSB than in most Bible translations. - The Christian Standard Bible (CSB) came out in 2017 and is basically a revision to the HCSB. All of the scholars who worked on the Christian Standard Bible have their PhDs! The CSB Oversight Translation Committee chose to come in alignment with other English translations and in every instance they translated YHWH to “LORD.” They did this because of feedback from readers who said “Yahweh” was unfamiliar and was an obstacle to the readability of the HCSB. Their dilemma for translating YHWH was do we use what is deemed the best translation for the word or do we achieve better readability? They chose readability. I came across a more in depth article on this written by Tyler Martin. Tyler has a B.A. in biblical languages and an M.A. in biblical exegesis. Check it out to learn more: Which Bibles Use the Name Yahweh and How Often? A Full Table It comes down to translation philosophy. Old-school – Jehovah Traditional translation – LORD Considered most accurate translation – Yahweh Does it matter? To me it doesn’t because reading a word brings a concept into your head and if I read any of those words – Jehovah, LORD, or Yahweh – I know exactly who the Scripture is referring to – the holy God of the universe. But my vote is for the traditional translation of LORD because people are the most familiar and the most comfortable with it. What I really want you to note about this discussion is the seriousness with which the translation process occurs. Only scholars work on the translation teams. They have been extensively trained and they take their task of translating the original language manuscripts, which we know what they say, to another language. They very much realize they are dealing with the holy word of God, a sacred text. No decision is taken lightly and every choice is discussed and agreement is reached. The translators must however, hold two things in tension. How close do they translate word for word or do they translate a word or phrase so that it is readable and understandable to today's readers? Language evolves over time. Scholarship has become more finely tuned. A great example of this is they used to call people from another nation "aliens." The word "aliens" is just not that familiar to modern readers. Many will think of space aliens! Now they translate it to "foreigners." Does this change the meaning of the text? It does not. I maintain the same thing with whether they use Jehovah, LORD or Yahweh. We take on faith that these scholars have done the best job possible in translating the original language manuscripts for us to read and understand.

I was ordering a friend a book about Amy Carmichael on Christianbook and it recommended the book called Evidence Not Seen (affiliate link). It is about Darlene Deibler Rose who was an American missionary who survived four years in a Japanese prison camp during World War II. The book is about her faith during that time. This is my genre! I love to read biographies of Christians who have exhibited great faith! People like Corrie ten Boom, Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, William Wilberforce, Amy Carmichael, Mother Teresa, Isaac Liu, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Elias Chacour, Maryam Rostampour and Marziyeh Amirizadeh, Katie Davis, etc. [At bottom are the affiliate links to books on these people.] But I had never heard of Darlene Deibler Rose. I read what the book was about and then began reading the five star reviews. I ordered the book and it is in my massive 'To Be Read' pile. (Can anyone else relate to that book pile?) As I was reading the reviews I came across one that seemed weird. Finally, I find myself feeling uncomfortable whenever Darlene talks of hearing God talk to her. Now I can understand how remembering certain scriptures at certain times would seem like God talking to you, and maybe He is. But I cannot make myself feel comfortable with people who think God is talking to them just because they can, "feel it." First of all Darlene was a missionary so I assume she was well versed in Scripture. Second of all they had taken her Bible when they put her in the prisoner of war camp. Because she didn't have a Bible to read, was God supposed to stop speaking to her for four years? I suppose I find this review weird because God speaks to me. And I thought He spoke to all believers. Then I remembered within the past couple years I'd read people condemning Beth Moore because of all the times she talks about God speaking to her. I searched the internet and read several articles/ blogs which were critical of Beth Moore for saying something like, "I heard the voice of God speak to my heart." Ha! It sounds exactly like something I would say. One woman wrote, They are either deceived, deluded, or lying, but they are not hearing directly from God. And then, The years upon years of Christian teachers and other leading women normalizing direct revelation has had untold and devastating effects on the faith. What? Honestly these kind of statements puzzle me. I teach a class called Connecting the Dots of the Bible and we spend the first two weeks on why Christians say the Bible is God's word. One of the first things I teach the students is on revelation. God is a personal God. We know He exists and who He is because He wants us to know Him. He has revealed Himself to us. This is called "revelation" and this simply means God's self-disclosure. Here is an excerpt from How Do We Know God Exists? that I wrote. General Revelation discloses to all people His existence, His power and His moral attributes. He discloses this to us through creation and moral nature. General Revelation is not saving revelation. Special Revelation is God revealing His character, His will, and His acts to His people. Special Revelation is saving revelation. God speaks by the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways to His people: Through the Bible Through prayer Through circumstances Through the church and believers We establish God wants us to know Him and He does this by revealing Himself to us. And how does God speak to us? Through the Bible and by the Holy Spirit which dwells in believers. This is a basic tenant of the Christian faith. When my husband and I got married almost 38 years ago, the minister that married us gave us this little plaque. It has been hanging in our home ever since. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they paths. (Proverbs 3:6) How is God supposed to direct your paths if He doesn't speak to you? Maybe the issue is what we envision when we say God "speaks." The number one way God is going to speak into your life is with His word, the Bible. But God can choose to direct your paths any way He wants to. Is this "speaking" some loud audible voice or some quiet whisper? Neither for me. It is a prompting, a bringing to memory of a particular Scripture, a conviction, a thought in my mind and heart,... The best example I have of this is I was going through a personal thing. I was in my car and I was sobbing and praying about it. I was actually very distraught. I was going on and on telling God how I couldn't take this any more and I was praying 'God, please tell me, please reveal to me if...' (It is too personal to tell you exactly what I was asking of God.) And suddenly God said to me in my mind "You are praying the wrong thing." This literally brought me up short and I stopped crying and ranting and was like 'What do you mean? What should I be praying for?' And God very clearly told me what I should pray for. And He was right. Of course He was correct! He is God. (Again, I can't tell you what He said I should be praying for because it is very personal. But it was biblical about forgiving this person and restoring the relationship.) I am telling you I know God spoke to me in a real and tangible way! And it has happened many times. Any time you are convicted of a sin, God is speaking to you. Any time you are suffering and a comforting verse comes to your mind, God is speaking to you. Any time what you are learning is reinforced by a sermon or a song on the radio or an encounter, God is speaking to you. The Holy Spirit dwells within us. Have you not ever wondered the purpose of that? Let me tell you about Him. Jesus sent His Helper to us. The Spirit will convict us. He will guide us into all the truth. He will glorify God. He will disclose the things of God to us. The Spirit gives us assurance of salvation. The Spirit gives us spiritual gifts. He is our Counselor. The Spirit has to speak to us to do these things! Am I having a word from God every day or even every week? No. It's directly related to how immersed I am in Scripture. I have dry periods. During this pandemic there isn't much revelation going on in my life. I'm not studying Scripture like I usually do. I'm watching church online which just isn't the same thing. My women's Bible study group was meeting by Zoom and that just wasn't the same thing. So yes, right now, it is kind of dry for me. God speaks to me more when I am closely connected to Him - reading His word, meeting with other Christians, praying regularly. Here's another thing I believe. I believe that Satan is speaking to us at times too. I wrote about that in Hearing Two Voices. Anything we "hear" that conflicts with Scripture is not from God. In other words, Scripture is our measuring stick. My friend said she would question anyone saying they hear from God who is not immersed in reading Scripture on a regular basis. And she'd question whether they hear from God if they aren't exhibiting any fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Beth Moore and others do not deserve those kind of hyper-critical comments made about them if they say God has spoken to them. Any woman who has done a Beth Moore study will tell you they learned an incredible amount from doing it. We joke about Beth Moore's Bible studies making us do Bible gymnastics. She is a solid Bible teacher that has her students immersed in Scripture. Women will tell you God spoke to them through doing that Bible study! Yes, God speaks to us. Lest you think I am making this up, let me leave you with the words of our Lord in John 16:13-15. But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take from Mine and will disclose it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine; this is why I said that He takes from Mine and will disclose it to you. The real question isn't if God speaks to us. The real question is are we listening to Him? Some excellent reads about Christians with great faith. Below are affiliate links to Christianbook. This means Passion to Know More gets a small percentage of anything purchased through these affiliate links. I use this to help subsidize the cost of this website. Thank you for supporting Passion to Know More through your purchases! Although Christianbook charges shipping, their products are at a greatly reduced price and usually the cost of shipping is offset by the great deals! It depends what you are ordering and how much you are ordering. So check out Christianbook! Evidence Not Seen about Darlene Deibler Rose The Hiding Place and Tramp for the Lord about Corrie ten Boom Through Gates of Splendor about Jim and Elisabeth Elliot Amazing Grace in the Life of William Wilberforce by John Piper A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael Mother Teresa - Faith in the Darkness by Greg Watts (Christianbook does not carry this particular book, but they have many books on Mother Teresa.) Son of the Underground by Isaac Liu (Christianbook does not carry this book) Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy about Dietrich Bonhoeffer Blood Brothers about Elias Chacour Captive in Iran about Maryam Rostampour and Marziyeh Amirizadeh Kisses from Katie about Katie Davis

Twenty years ago I joined a couples Bible study group and I heard something that made me go huh? At the time I was a Christian, but I knew little about the Bible. There was a young man in the group who I knew was a PK, a preacher's kid. He had told us they were considering hiring him on staff at our church. I assumed because this man was a preacher's kid, went to church every week, and might be on staff at the church that he knew more than I did. Actually I assumed just about everyone in the group knew more than I did. I was there to learn. One night he said to us that his son learned about Jonah and the fish in the children's ministry that day. On the way home from church his son asked him if it really happened. And this man told him, no, that it was just a story in the Bible. Huh? My mind immediately started going a mile a minute. How does he know it's not true? Because it seems impossible to have happened? What is the criteria to decide if a biblical account is true or just a "story" like a parable? What am I missing? Does he know something I don't? If Jonah being swallowed by a fish for three days isn't true, then what else isn't true? I really didn't know. And so I asked, (and I feel pretty sure it came off snarky, but I didn't mean it that way - I truly was just asking), "If we don't believe Jonah was swallowed by a big fish and was in the fish's belly for three days; why do we believe in the virgin birth and the bodily resurrection of Jesus?" And there was silence. I mean you would have heard a pin drop. The guy said, "Well, uh, I guess you have a point." Moments more of silence and then a woman who was on staff at the church said, yes that she believes Jonah and the fish happened just like the virgin birth and the resurrection happened. And then every one seemed to agree yes Jonah probably happened. Twenty years later I realize it actually was a pretty big milestone in my spiritual journey. I learned a couple things. I believe the biblical accounts happened. I believe the virgin birth and the resurrection of our Lord happened. Both of these events are seemingly impossible to have occurred. They would be miraculous. These are foundational doctrines of the Christian faith. I also believe Jonah was in the belly of a fish for three days, and God parted the Red Sea, that the earth flooded and Noah and his family were spared, that a donkey spoke to Balaam, that Elijah defeated 450 priests of Baal at Mount Carmel, that God provided water and food for the Hebrew people as they wandered the desert for forty years, etc. I can't scientifically prove these things happened. But I believe God can do anything and that he can do the miraculous. Just because we can't explain something or there is no proof doesn't mean it did not happen. Maybe the archeological evidence has not been discovered yet. Maybe the scientific proof has not been discovered yet. I think the very definition of a miracle is that it can't be explained. I believe in miracles. There actually is some proof for the resurrection of Christ reported in ancient documents and as evidenced by the early believer's actions, particularly their willingness to die for what they witnessed and testified happened. People don't tend to die for a lie. I believe all the biblical accounts happened. I can't explain that to you so you will be satisfied they happened. I can explain to you why we know our biblical text is reliable and since it is, why doubt the accounts? I guess it comes down to faith. Faith is simply belief and trust in God. I believe the Bible is God's word. The preservation of it and how we have it today is a profound miracle. Therefore, I believe what the Bible says. This Jonah and the big fish incident made me examine my beliefs. Do I buy the biblical accounts? I do. It also served another purpose and this lesson took a lot longer to learn. I assumed because this guy was a preacher's kid and had probably gone to church his whole life and probably had training at home that he not only had more knowledge about Christianity than I did, but that my beliefs should be in-line with his and if they weren't than something was wrong with me. I looked at other Christians with that lens or I thought they were looking at me through that lens. It was kind of like a sliding scale - I thought the amount of time he spent doing Christian things equated to him being a mature Christian. I guess I thought he was the "expert" and if he said something, it had to be true. I've found out that is not necessarily the case. You do have to be discerning of things other Christians say. I know I thought that other Christians were better Christians than I was. You all, we have got to stop doing that! It is not a competition. The reality is it isn't the length of time you are a Christian that makes you close to God, but the amount you surrender your life to the Lord. This took me awhile to learn. Years. I'm still learning it. You hear the phrase we are all equal at the foot of the cross. We are. I imagine Billy and Ruth Graham are enjoying being in heaven. As is Mother Teresa, Amy Carmichael, Jim Elliot, Corrie ten Boom, and the many other saints who have gone before us. But I'm going to be there too some day! We are all offered the same gift. What does differ between us is what we do for the kingdom of God while we are here on earth. And I can tell you those people I just mentioned did a whole lot more than I've done. But it doesn't mean God loves them more than me. And here is the other thing too. You can have a ton of head knowledge about the Bible and still have an ugly hard heart. God cares about the heart. I can tell you after twenty years of studying the Bible, I have a lot of knowledge, but even though my heart has much more love for others, it also still needs some work. Others who know much less about the Bible than I do have great big ginormous hearts that must surely please the Lord. One little moment in my spiritual journey and I learned I believe the accounts in the Bible happened and you can't judge the spirituality and understanding of another Christian. And we aren't supposed to be concerned in comparing our relationship with God to their relationship with God. It's not a competition with each other. We should focus on our own spiritual walk with Christ rather than comparing ourselves to others. Be kind. Love others. Love God. What about you? Have you ever really thought about whether you believe the accounts in the Bible really happened? Was Jonah in the belly of a fish for three days? Is that even possible? Well let me leave you with our Lord's words from Matthew 19:26. "... with God all things are possible." And see, I believe that. Hey, if you want to read more about Jonah, read Ineligible for Forgiveness. There is much more to that biblical account than just a man being swallowed by a great fish.

"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets." Our Lord told us that in His Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7. This verse, Matthew 7:12, is commonly known as the Golden Rule. You all know it. You know Jesus said it. The Sermon on the Mount is all about how Christians should act. It is about our personal relationships... about giving to the poor... about prayer... about not putting too much importance on money... about not worrying... and about treating others with consideration for them. The Sermon on the Mount is about not doing the bare minimum, but going above in our care and concern for others. Our Lord tells us in "YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND." (Matthew 22:37, capitalized in my NASB Bible because it is quoting the Old Testament Scripture.) He tells us this is the greatest commandment. He goes on to tell us the second greatest commandment is, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." (Matthew 22:39, again capitalized because it is quoting the Old Testament Scripture.) Look, if you do these two things - love the Lord and love your neighbor; there isn't a need to be concerned about keeping a long list of do's and don'ts. The ten commandments are covered by these two commandments. Everything said to us in the Old Testament is covered by these two commandments. And that is what is meant by "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets." So it is easy peasy. Love the Lord and love others. Or is it? Our hearts aren't always full of love. And there is the struggle. There is the sin. Christians know we are to obey our Lord and Savior. We thankfully and gratefully accept Jesus as our Savior. But the Lord part we resist it at every turn. When I think of something as simple as wearing a mask and social distancing in the middle of a global pandemic the commands of our Lord come to my mind. I live in a golf course community. Recently on our neighborhood page someone posted pictures of the get together for the women's golf group. It was inside our golf clubhouse and there were 22 women and 1 man sitting around tables - NONE of them with a mask on. Not one. I scrolled the comments and only one woman commented, "No mask?" I liked her comment, but did not comment. And then a friend posted several pictures of her Easter celebration at her house with several families. Her caption was about her house was full of people... vaccinated, the non-vaccinated... Not one person had a mask on. I began to tear up. My husband and I spent our Easter watching church remotely. Home alone. I know it is our choice, but that doesn't make it any easier. We all know there is a global pandemic going on. We all know many are suffering and dying. As of this morning 562,608 Americans have died from COVID. We know by now that as many as 10% of people who get COVID are considered long-haulers. They are people who have not fully recovered weeks or even months after first experiencing symptoms. By now each of us knows someone who died from COVID. Or we know someone who is still gravely ill. I know a 28 year old who still over a year later has not regained his sense of taste and smell. I know a woman in her early 40's who is still experiencing exhaustion ten weeks after having COVID. I know a couple my age who 10 months after getting COVID both are still struggling with breathing and the woman needs a cane most of the time. I know of a family who all got together at Thanksgiving. Several of the family members got COVID from that day. The son in his late 50's got a blood clot and died. The father ended up in the hospital, suffered for weeks, and died. They lost two members of their family from getting together for a holiday. Was it worth it to them? Would they like a do-over? I know people who have suffered greatly because of this pandemic. You do too. There is a big percentage of the population who are taking precautions not to get this virus because they don't know how they will fair if they get it. I am one of them. I have friends who have had cancer. A friend going through breast cancer right now. I have a friend who a few years ago had a blood clot in her lung and almost died. A friend with rheumatoid arthritis. I know three people who have had transplants. I have friends who are the care takers for their loved ones. I know a man in his mid 20's who has had three heart operations. When his friends try to pressure him to come over, he says no. He tells them it is like buying a packet of Skittles and knowing that 1 out of the 100 Skittles might kill you. Would you eat any of them? It isn't being fearful. It is weighing your risks. A life event like cancer, or an autoimmune disease, a heart attack, or any other major health issue will change your outlook on how you live your life. You make changes in your lifestyle just to have more time with those you love. You put things in perspective and value what is really important to you. I want to live. And I want to not only live, but I want to be healthy enough to still be able to visit family, to hike and travel. You might tell me statistically I'll be just fine if I get COVID. You had it and you did fine. Well we all know people who haven't done fine with it. There seems to be no way to predict the outcome. I have stayed home since March 17, 2020. Yes, I've gone to the grocery store and the pharmacy. I went camping one night. Yes, it is my choice to stay home and be safe. But it has taken an emotional toll. It helps to know I am not alone. Many others are staying home and taking every precaution to keep themselves and their loved ones safe. We are checking on each other, cheering when we are vaccinated, and encouraging each other however we can. I can't wait to be fully vaccinated and venture out more into the world! I have very much missed getting together with people. I can tell you though once I am vaccinated I will continue to wear a mask and to be careful because the virus hasn't gone anywhere, the vaccines aren't 100% effective, they don't know if you can still transmit it, and they aren't too sure about these new variants. We all know what needs to be done to keep as many people healthy as possible. We are counting on you to do what is necessary for the best interest of everyone. The people being careful about this pandemic are your neighbors. They are the ones who have sat beside you in the pew. Who have been in Bible study with you. Or even people who want to know this Jesus you claim to be your King and Lord. If I asked you to remove your shoes because I just got new carpet, you would most likely comply without any argument and with a willing heart. If I asked you to don a mask when we share public space, would you have the same attitude and heart? When we venture out and see people being cavalier with the safety recommendations or we see their photographs on social media of groups without masks on and not social distancing, we become anxious. Then our feelings turn to being hurt. The message they send to us is they don't care about us. Whether they mean to portray that to us or not, it is the message we are receiving. Even if you think we are wrong and we are being fearful; be considerate of how you are making us feel. It isn't a big ask of you. We are counting on you to follow the safety precautions. Do it for us. Show us you care. Even if you don't know the people around you in a store or out somewhere, remember each person has a story to tell. Each of them matters to someone. And they each matter to God. We represent our Lord to others. "By this all men will know that your are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:35 The Lord has commanded us to treat people the way you want them to treat you. You want others to treat you kindly. Be kind to them. You have a choice. The Christian thing to do is to be considerate and compassionate.

I wrote this blog over two years ago. I see I updated it nine months after that and I still did not publish it, but I held onto it in my "draft" box. I am feeling led by the Spirit to share it today. Recently a friend of mine and I were encouraging someone who has breast cancer. My friend had breast cancer and experienced a roller coaster of emotions. She wrote to this woman: "Whatever emotions you're having, though, are OK. Emotions aren't right or wrong. They're just feelings. I have found comfort and even at times great joy sharing my raw emotions with God." Three years after my heart attack I am mentally and spiritually in a good place. Physically not so much. Sigh. I can't get it all right at the same time. I wrote this post on January 23, 2019. About 9 months ago. I just found it in my trash bin. Apparently at the time I wrote it I was in a bad place. I trashed it because I think I decided it was too personal to share with you. I'm no longer in that bad place, thank the Lord. I've decided to share this now because: I recently wrote a blog about Christians not acting Christian and I did include myself in that blog by the way. I know I sometimes act un-Christian-like. Maybe this will encourage you some way if you are going through a difficult time. There seems to be this perception that we Christians think we are better than you are. Like it is some competition to be holier-than-thou. That we are judging you. That you think we always have it together and always do the right thing. Maybe this one will make you realize that we struggle with sin like everyone else. Today is the one year anniversary of me having a heart attack. I don't have any profound words for you in this post. (Do I ever have profound words? Ha.) I guess I'm writing this for me. To remember. To think about it. It's been a weird year for me. Decades ago my mother died of a heart attack three days after her 51st birthday. So very young. Her death messed with me and not in a good way. Her death affected me from that point forward. When I hit 51 I thought, 'This is the age my mother was when she died.' ... When I hit 53 I thought, 'I've made it 2 years longer than my Mom did.' ... As each year went by that was my thinking. My Dad had a heart attack and had stents put in. Because both of my parents had heart attacks I knew I should take better care of my heart. I didn't. I knew I should exercise and eat better. I knew. But I didn't. I appear to be a healthy person. I'm petite. I'm never sick. I'd go to the doctor about every 4 years for a physical. I just don't look like the kind of person who would have a heart attack. But I knew it was a real possibility for me. Here's what happened. On Tuesday night I made Chicken Fiesta and had a bit of heartburn afterwards which was very unusual for me. On Thursday night I made Jambalaya (haven't made it since and I love my Jambalaya with andouille sausage) and again felt heartburn. Saturday night my husband and I went out with another couple and I ordered a chicken quesadilla. I felt fine. That night I woke up at 1 am with severe burning in the back of my throat. Hardly slept that whole night. Sunday I was greeting at church and I needed to pick up a prayer blanket for someone. Headed to church and smiled and welcomed. By that afternoon I was still feeling weird. Went and talked to the pharmacist who recommended I take a certain kind of stomach antacid. I did. No relief. Sunday night my son told me you should go to the doctor. I started googling my symptom - severe burning in the back of my throat. By Monday I thought it might be my heart. I don't know why I suspected that. Severe burning in the back of your throat is not a symptom for a heart attack. I called and made a doctor's appointment. Tuesday morning I saw the doctor. He thought I might have an ulcer in my esophagus. I asked him if he thought it might be my heart. He said no, but they were going to draw blood and do an EKG. He came back in with wide eyes and said I needed to get to the ER as my heart was in distress. I had a mild heart attack because one artery was 100% clogged. They put a stent in it. I have some blockage in another artery. Sent me home with a bunch of medicine and signed me up for 12 weeks of cardio rehab. I had to make life changes: Eat heart healthy. Exercise. Practice stress reduction. Take a bunch of medicine. Change is very hard. I feel like I am losing something. I can no longer have that donut or Big Mac I want. I have to exercise and take a butt load of pills, both which I hate. I'm supposed to practice stress reduction which I still think is hooey and roll my eyes at. My Apple watch tells me to breathe and I tell it to shut up. Ha. Yes, change is hard and I'm failing at it. I am eating much better. That stuck for the most part. My taste buds changed like they said they would. I'm not exercising. I feel guilty, but not enough to actually change. I am generally an uptight person. But I don't really worry much because of my relationship with God. I get stressed; I pray. I still hate the pill box, but I take what they tell me I have to. Just like I don't look like a person who would have a heart attack, my actions and appearance don't tell the whole story. There is this turmoil going on inside of me. For a year now. Physically I look great. Mentally and spiritually I'm not doing so well. Shortly after my heart attack I became angry. Basically I thought 'This is so unfair!' I'd look at other people who were older than me, overweight, and ate anything they want and never exercised and think, 'Why me and not them?' Isn't that horrible?! Very un-Christian-like to think that. And then I would feel guilty and ask God to forgive me. I never before looked at people like that. Honestly. I just never looked at people as healthy or not healthy or thought about their looks much. I just looked at the person and was much more interested in our conversation. And now I was going around judging people for being overweight and eating crap food. Horrible of me. I felt so guilty, but I couldn't seem to stop. The flip side of that is I thought everyone was judging me. I thought I deserved the heart attack. I brought it on myself with my life choices. I thought everyone was thinking that about me. I ran into a woman from church at War-Mart when I had candy and chips in my cart. I immediately told her not to judge me that the candy and chips were for my husband. I felt the need to explain myself to her! Really? I'd be somewhere and eat a piece of cake and think people were thinking 'She shouldn't eat that.' Honestly I was torturing myself with what I thought others were thinking of me. You are probably thinking who cares what others think? Well, apparently I do. And I thought everyone was thinking it's her own dang fault she had a heart attack and look at her now continuing in her unhealthy lifestyle. Apparently when you have a health issue everyone wants to give you advice. I was so excited about what I was learning in cardio rehab. I had never paid attention to what I ate and I didn't even know how to read a food label. I was learning so much! Cardio rehab is run by experts in their field. I would share what I learned after class on Facebook and I found out many people think they are an expert - especially when it comes to food - and would contradict what I was learning. One Christian friend got all worked up when I posted we were told coconut oil is terrible for our hearts and to never ever use it. She said the American Heart Association is paid off by cooking oil companies to say that. Seriously? Do you know how absurd that is? Here were experts whose only job was to give us the most reliable information to keep us heart healthy. The licensed nutritionist (who had her masters and a bunch of designations after her name) gave me many articles about the dangers of coconut oil and I shared them with this friend. My friend wouldn't believe them. Did I drop it? No, I blasted her. I was so mean. I later apologized, but I still acted very un-Christian-like. So while I physically look the same as I did pre-heart attack, internally I'm not. Anger - it is a sin. Ungratefulness - it is a sin. Being judgmental - it is a sin. Unkindness - it is a sin. I can't help the emotions I was having. They are just feelings. But how you act on those emotions can honor God or can be sinful. I know what changes I need to make. I just seem incapable of doing them. It feels like being a failure 24/7. And that is not a good way to feel. Things that never entered my mind before have become the battlefield of my mind. I hate it. I'm disgusted with myself. Should this sin in my life disqualify me from doing this site, leading a women's Bible study, teaching Bible classes? Should I shut it all down until I get my act together? Until I get in a better place? People who know me, know I am not perfect. Far from it. Do they think I am a hypocrite though? Oh Lord, please no! While being a very screwed up person, I love the Lord. I am trying to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. I have always tried to be genuine with others. I've never claimed to be Super Christian. I'm certainly not! If you perceive me as that, it really is your flawed perception of what a Christian is. We are sinners who are forgiven. Get that? Sinners. Being a Christian doesn't mean we aren't going to struggle with sin. Since the heart attack, I view time very differently. I don't know if I have the time to pass on what I've learned and there is so much I want to write about! And that is all I'm trying to do with Passion to Know More. As God puts things on my heart and I learn more about the Bible, I want to share it with you. I get pretty excited when I learn something new. I want to pass that excitement on. Why? Because I'm hoping you will learn something and become interested in reading and studying the Bible. I'm hoping something I put down will touch you some way. That doesn't make me a better Christian than you. I'm not. Please don't think I think that about myself. I don't. If anything, I am more critical of myself than anyone else could be. I'm working on that too. Sigh. We are all equal at the foot of the cross. Truly. Extend grace to us struggling people. Give us a little slack. Kindness. Encouragement. I guess this ended up being my confession of my turmoil this year and a plea to you to be understanding. I didn't know it would go that route. Ha.

I asked them to imagine what heaven would be like. We are finishing up a study on the foundations of the Christian faith. It was long. It had us reading a lot of Scripture. We have spent weeks studying the Holy Spirit, spiritual warfare and now the Second Coming of Christ. As with spiritual warfare where I tried to define all the good spirits, the bad spirits, and who our enemies are so we are all on the same page; I am doing that with hell, heaven, and the events of the End Times - the Tribulation, the Rapture, the Second Coming of Christ, Armageddon, the Millennium reign of Christ, and the Great Judgment. It's actually harder than you think to simply define these concepts and to order the events. The order of the events and knowing (we actually don't know much) about how it is all going to go down, isn't the big take-away. The big take away is that it will all happen. And that God triumphs. Our study said "The return of Christ is mentioned by every New Testament writer, and these writers refer to it over three hundred times in twenty different books." I did not know this and I found it fascinating. I know there are 27 books in the New Testament and 9 writers. They are Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, the unknown author of Hebrews, James, Peter, and Jude. I verified that every writer does talk about the Second Coming of Christ. I did not verify it is in 20 of 27 books in the New Testament. I'll take their word for it. We are told Christ will return. We should live right now with this truth in front of us. Our study had us walk through many of the Scripture verses and passages about it. We know Jesus will come back unexpectedly and triumphantly. That He is coming back to gather His followers, to defeat Satan and the antichrist at Armageddon and to reign on earth. I believe in God's promises. I believe I am forgiven. I believe I will one day be with Jesus in heaven. Our study asked, "When Jesus returns and you see Him face-to-face, what would you like to hear Him say? What would you like to say to Him?" And then our study had us read about heaven. Heaven is mentioned 276 times in the New Testament. And it asked, "Imagine you have just arrived in heaven. Based on what will surround you there, how might you feel? What might you experience?" And I let my imagination run wild. And everything I wrote down made me smile. It made me so joyful. But I was a bit surprised by some of what I wrote and this was the most surprising. I will be safe. I can't stop thinking about this because this thought never occurred to me before. Do you know how unsafe we feel right now? We are in some pretty tumultuous times. We have found ourselves in the middle of a global pandemic. We have lost over half a million people in the United States to this insidious virus. Many have serious health problems. Many have lost jobs and are in economic ruin. Education has suffered. Security is lost. Suffering and grief surrounds us. It's bleak on many fronts. But more so than the circumstances of this historical time, are the unseen tone around us. People have been downright ugly this year. Angry. Hateful. Mean. Spiteful. Whichever side people fell on with regards to the pandemic or politics or BLM or the environment or insert any topic you want - people became really evil. I don't use that word flippantly. Their words were not full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self-control. I'm guilty too. I felt an anger towards other people like I probably haven't ever experienced. As late as October when people gathered for a large event nearby and refused to wear masks or social distance, I was livid. And what happened was I realized that some people aren't safe for me. It really was an eye-opening experience. I chose to distance myself from those people. There are people who we can't be truly ourselves around. We have to watch what we say because they will take it the wrong way or attack us. They hurt our feelings. Feeling unsafe. We all feel it in this world. I wonder at what point in our lives did we change from feeling protected and safe to always looking over our shoulder. Someone who has been abused knows how unsafe feels. A woman walking home alone in the dark knows how unsafe feels. A person being bullied, whether in person or on the internet, knows how unsafe feels. Someone who has been diagnosed with cancer knows how unsafe feels. A man who just lost his job knows how unsafe feels. A child whose parent died knows how unsafe feels. We all know how unsafe feels. But heaven will be SAFE! And that is very hard for me to imagine. Evil will be defeated. No one will have any secrets or have anything to hide. No one will say something or do something that hurts you to your core. We will have perfect peace. There will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more sorrow. There will be nothing to be ashamed of. There will be no deception. No lies. We will not want more because we will have it all. We will not be under the curse of sin. We will never again be angry or mean or unkind or any of the other things we now do to each other. Can you truly imagine that? Think of a moment when all at the same time you were completely happy, secure, peaceful, safe, and joyful. This is what I imagine heaven will be like. It will look completely different - new... bright... beautiful... better... clean... warm... interesting... colorful... lush. I will have a new body yet people will know it is me - full of energy... healthy... beautiful... smooth... bright. I will feel safe... content... peaceful... joyful... purposeful... loved... fulfilled. I will do all kinds of fun things - meet new people... learn new things... try new things... be adventurous... have fun. I will worship God for all of eternity. I try to imagine it. We can't really comprehend how incredible it is going to be. It has not appeared as yet what we will be. 1 John 3:2 No one’s ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it— What God has arranged for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. John 14:2-3 When Jesus comes again He will gather us to Him! Therefore comfort one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:18 Truth - Heaven will be glorious beyond our wildest imagination! I Can Only Imagine. (song by Mercy Me)